The Art of Social Interactions: How To Show Intelligence

From my conversation with Vusi Thembekwayo world-renown public speaker with 20+ years of professional experience, I learned how intelligence is communicated through conversation

Less than a year ago I had the pleasure of meeting with world-renown public speaker - Vusi Thembekwayo. We connected over breakfast in the heart of London the day after he spoke at a large conference. It was about 10am in the morning when I ordered the pancackes, and as we spoke, I began to grow undestanding of what it actually meant to show intelligence without trying to sound smart.

1. Dumb Things Down: This seems counterintuitive, but it shows Have you ever been to the doctor's and left the appointment more confused than you went in? If so then you probably didn't have a very good doctor. Doctors should have the ability, despite their wealth of knowledge in health & illnesses (with particularly long names), to reduce their understanding to basic lanugage. This allows them to communicate effectively to all audiences, from the most educated to the least, leaving no confusion over your diagnosis. When I spoke with Vusi it felt similar. I felt silly with the lack of knowledge I had coming into the conversation, but soon came to understand why they pay this guy the big-bucks to speak. He is very well educated, and has 20+ years in public speaking professionally, yet was able to break down a concept i didn't understand using basic vocabulary and explanations. Often time in conversation we can be tempted to make ourselves seem smart by showing off our vocabulary, or by using complex examples. The result is that you may seem smart, but no one would ever understand you. Truly, anyone who has the ability to break complex principles down using explanations that even the most uneducated people can grasp is truly the intelligent one.

2. Never patronise: I went into the conversation asking questions that I should have known the answer to (admittedly, I came a little unprepared!). I admitted to lack knowledge on the nature of his work. His response surpirsed me, even to this day. He immediately began to give me a crash course of his work, without hesitation, and without shaming. This is emotional intelligence. There were two options to choose from: overtly emphasise the missing gap in knowledge, or take the opportunity to humbly teach. He's a busy guy and I wouldn't blame him for the former response, but his intelligence came across in the latter, which contributed to a relaxed and productive conversation.

3. Be willing To Answer Questions, and Ask Them Back: I ask a lot of questions. A lot. The intention is for me to understand to the point where I can respond effectively rather than superficially; but this depends upon the responnses received.

   Your willingess to answer and ask questions shows your interest in the conversation, and also your ability to articulate yourself. You can show your level of intelligence by being able to effectively explain opinions, and points. No doubt i asked him many questions , which he noticed aswell. But he was able to handle it and engage me likewise.

   
   

   All in all, the hour long breakfast felt very productive - we managed to cover a lot in that time which was great as it was my first time meeting him. And considering this person is well known in his craft, I imagine other people's observations would have been on his lifestyle or finances, but for me it was the intelligence.